Dating and kicking
Sadly, it’s all too easy to let them influence us and convince us that we’re ugly, stupid and worthles.By being friends with them, we’ve given them a high level of authority and influence in our lives.We may choose to overlook the fact that our friends are toxic because of the sunk cost fallacy – we’ve known them for so long that we can’t really let them go.But those toxic friends are destroying your self-esteem, ruining your happiness and in many cases In the US, we tend to suffer under the myth of the Intrepid Individual.On the whole, established social groups tend to be conflict averse.Often there are few crimes worse than “causing drama” – creating conflicts within the group and making everybody uncomfortable.
They’re the friends who will try to convince someone who’s quit drinking to fall off the wagon or a happily committed friend to ditch their relationship. Toxic people can’t abuse somebody someone with self-esteem and healthy boundaries, so it’s important to them to make sure that you never develop any.
Except as appealing as that idea is, it’s true when it comes to the people you surround yourself with.
There’s a quote you see tossed around a lot – especially in business circles – by Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the 5 people spend the most time with.” What this means is that the people you associate with affect who are and how you behave, even if you’re not aware of it.
Your social circle, after all, is supposed to be a source of happiness, support andhealthy validation.
Good friends help prop you up when you’re down, help you celebrate your successes, mourn your losses with you, cheer you on and – ideally – help you pick up the pieces when you’ve fucked up.
As a result: there is a great deal of pressure to stay quiet and not say anything.