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(I've been with men and women in the past; he's never been with a man.) I know it is unfair of me to feel this way and he's never given me any real reason to fear this.
We have a very engaged, kinky, and rewarding sex life! This situation is complicated by the near certainty that my boyfriend has some sort of hormonal disorder.
But if we can share those feelings with the person we love without fear of judgment or reprisal, it can help create a space of comfort and intimacy that no piece of ass will ever be able to compete with—no matter how hot they are or what they may or may not have between their legs." As for the reasons you're feeling insecure—your boyfriend might be gay and/or happier with a man—I'm not going to lie to you, ANGST.
Your boyfriend could be gay (some people who aren't bisexual identify as bi before coming out as gay or lesbian), and/or he could one day realize that he'd be happier with a man (just as you could one day realize that you'd be happier with a woman).
He has a very young face for an 18 year old, a feminine figure, and not a lot of body hair.
He orgasms but he does not ejaculate; and although he has a sizable penis, his testicles are more like the size of grapes than eggs.
John Amory, Professor of Medicine at the University of Washington.
Bottom line: Small testes at age 18 means it's time for a doctor's visit—probably an endocrinologist or urologist—to take a family history, do an examination, and consider measurement of testosterone and some other hormones.
You and your boyfriend are both in the process of figuring out who you are and what you want.
It's possible he'll realize you're not the person he wants to be with, ANGST, but it's also possible you'll realize he's not the person you want to be with.
He struggles a lot with feeling abnormal and un-masculine.
I try to be as supportive as possible and tell him how attracted to him I am and how he'll get through whatever this is.
This should help him understand if he 'just needs to wait' or if he has a diagnosis that could be treated.